
                         THE PENTIUM FDIV BUG

Q:  What does FDIV mean?
A:  It's an instruction mnemonic- Fundamentally Defective Instruction Vector.

Q:  Sorry, I didn't get that, please decode again. What does FDIV mean?
A:  Functionally Destructive Instigator of Violent results.

Q:  Sorry, I didn't get that, please recompute. What does FDIV mean?
A:  Flaming Dumb Intel Violation.

Q:  What is the significance of the FDIV error for the general public?
A:  Therapy; millions more people are going to have to go to their 
    psychiatrists when they discover they're not at x * 1/x with themselves.

Q:  How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:  1.99904274017, but that's close enough for non-technical people.

Q:  What do you get when you cross a Pentium PC with a  research grant?
A:  A mad scientist.

Q:  Please calculate 80486 - 80586. What's the answer?
A:  (a) Infinity, and positive too.
A:  (b) 80286.

Q:  What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on Pentiums?
A:  Warning label.

Q:  What do you call a series of FDIV instructions on a Pentium?
A:  Successive approximations.

Q:  What did Intel say to people complaining about Pentiums' FDIV?
A:  "Go forth and multiply, and take the quantum leap."

Q:  What is the difference between here and infinity?
A:  Not all that much, really. It won't affect anybody anyway.

Q:  Complete the following word analogy:  Add is to Subtract as Multiply
    is to
        1)  Divide
        2)  ROUND
        3)  RANDOM
        4)  On a Pentium, all of the above
A:  Number 4. (or nearly as dammit).

Q:  What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider?
A:  "Life is like a box of chocolates." (Source: F. Gump of Intel)

Q:  Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586?
A:  Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got
    585.999983605.

Q:  According to Intel, the Pentium conforms to the IEEE standards
    754 and 854 for floating point arithmetic.  If you fly in aircraft
    designed using a Pentium, what is the correct pronunciation of "IEEE"
A:  Aaaaaaaiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!

TOP TEN NEW INTEL SLOGANS FOR THE PENTIUM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
  9.9999973251   It's a FLAW, Dammit, not a Bug
  8.9999163362   It's Close Enough, We Say So
  7.9999414610   Nearly 300 Correct Opcodes
  6.9999831538   You Don't Need to Know What's Inside
  5.9999835137   Redefining the PC--and Mathematics As Well
  4.9999999021   We Fixed It, Really
  3.9998245917   Division Considered Harmful
  2.9991523619   Why Do You Think They Call It *Floating* Point?
  1.9999103517   We're Looking for a Few Good Flaws
  0.9999999998   The Errata Inside

   Oh, and by the way -
   Did you know, it was meant to be "Intel" but bit 5 got inverted accidentally
   so it's "iNTEL".
   Why not the full name? Well, look at it this way.  iNTEL LIGENCE
   had too many significant places....                      -------

