Subject: Are you STILL a Computer GEEK?

..Are you STILL a computer geek?

Ok, so you lucked out last time - you were about as socially adjusted as a
onion and jelly sandwhich, BUT YOU MIGHT HAVE CHANGED!  You may not be a 
computer geek any more!   It's possible!!!  (Not probable, but possible)
Test yourself now!

1..It's a stag party for one of your friends.  You and the rest of
.your friends all put money in for:
    a.  A set of driving mirrors
    b.  A stripper
    c.  A stripper with a set of driving mirrors
    d.  A VGA screen so he can check out alt.sex.pictures.of.girlies

2..You want to improve your social life.  You
    a.  Ask people to go out with you.
    b.  Join a club to meet new people
    c.  Drink yourself unconcious and forget about it.
    d.  What's a social life?


3..You ideal partner would have:
    a.  Looks
    b.  Intelligence
    c.  Money
    d.  A 1.2 Gig Hard Drive, Twin floppies + SVGA screen, and 5 Meg Memory

4..You have the most horrific nightmare of your life.  It involves:
    a..You driving off a cliff
    b.  You showing up somewhere with no clothes on
    c.  A hungry alsation, your private parts and some tomato sauce.
    d..A tax on pocket protectors and thick glasses

5..You're on blind date.  (How the fuck you got there is irrelevant,  a
.freak of nature [like yourself] perhaps)  The question you would ask
.is:
    a.  "Name the weirdest place you ever kissed someone"
    b.  "Name the weirdest place you ever made love"
    c.  "Name the weirdest place you ever played soggy biscuit"
    d.  "Name the weirdest place you ever booted MSDOS 4"

6..Your role model is:
    a..Rudolf Steiner
    b.  Mother Theresa
    c.  Charlie Manson
    d.  R2D2

7..Your favourite fashion accessory is:
    a..Winklepickers
    b.  Collar Studs
    c.  An axe
    d.  What's fashion?

8..If you had your life to live again, would you:
    a..Make no changes
    b.  Make a few changes
    c.  Make a lot of changes
    d.  Upgrade to SVGA

9..Your favourite pickup line is:
    a.  "I've just won the lottery"
    b.  "Has anyone seen the keys to my Porsche?"
    c.  "Shit, I'm pissed"
    d.  "I'm superuser at work.."


10..During sexual climax, you think of:
    a..Your partner
    b.  Your partner's body
    c.  Yourself
    d.  The 487 co-processor at 52 Meg


Scoring
-------
.You don't really need the score card do you?  Mostly A's or B's
.means you're the normal run-of-the-mill,  90212 (the house next
.door) walkalike, talkalike that gives us real jerks a bad name;
.C's mean you're a..   Well, frankly, I don't know what the hell
.you  are,  but  it's  probably  treatable with large amounts of
.voltage,  and  D's  of course means that you've got a fantastic
.career  stretched  out  in front of you as far as your nose can
 .see.  Happy camping.
.
-- 

              /\                                                             
   /\    /\/\/  \/\/\      /\  /\/\        /\                /\            /\  
__/  \/\/            \/\/\/  \/    \/\/\/\/  \  /\/\/\/\/\/\/  \/\      /\/  \ 
A 117 part secret message from Simon Travaglia\/spt@waikato.ac.nz \/\/\/
  /\          /\University of Waikato, Private Bag, Hamilton, New Zealand
\/  \    /\/\/  \/\/\      /\  /\/\Ph: 064-7-838-4008/\  /\  /\    /\      /\ 
     \/\/            \/\/\/  \/    \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/  \/  \/  \/\/  \/\/\/  \ 
"Deep" is a word like "theory" or "semantic" -- it implies all sorts of 
 marvelous things.  It's one thing to be able to say "I've got a theory", quite
 another  to  say  "I've got a semantic theory",  but,  ah, those who can claim 
 "I've got a deep semantic theory", they are truly blessed.
..-- Randy Davis


Article 63171 of rec.humor:
Xref: news.cso.uiuc.edu rec.humor:63171 talk.bizarre:72339 comp.misc:10459
Path: news.cso.uiuc.edu!ux1.cso.uiuc.edu!moe.ksu.ksu.edu!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!wupost!waikato.ac.nz!spt
From: spt@waikato.ac.nz (Simon Travaglia)
Newsgroups: rec.humor,talk.bizarre,comp.misc
Subject: Re: Are you STILL a Computer GEEK?
Message-ID: <1992Aug31.132540.10465@waikato.ac.nz>
Date: 31 Aug 92 13:25:40 +1200
References: <1992Aug31.104416.10462@waikato.ac.nz> <la2p4lINN79n@almaak.usc.edu>
Organization: University of Waikato Computer Centre
Lines: 27

In article <la2p4lINN79n@almaak.usc.edu>, ajayshah@almaak.usc.edu (Ajay Shah) writes:
> 
> A Real Hacker doesn't hang out with peecees :-)

Oh, that's right, I did forget the double-d bonus question:

11..How do you get your rocks off best?
    a..Watching Male/Female Swimsuit Revue
    b.  Reading "Forum"
    c.  Torturing Next-door's cat with a buzz-saw
    d.  Getting involved in net flame-wars about what computer is the
.best and why, wars that degenerate into "OH YEAH, WELL I'D LIKE
.TO SEE YOURS DO...."

