THE WORLD OF WINDOWS

"While we liked developing Windows applications, we never inhaled."
Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows.
Bugs come in through Windows.
Dogs crawl under gates, software crawls under Windows.
Scanning for viruses... Windows found! Please remove!
Double your drive space! Delete Windows!
Have you crashed your Windows today?
If Windows sucked, it would be good for something!
Turn your 486 into a Gameboy: Type WIN at the prompt.
Walk through doors, don't crawl through Windows!
WindowError 001: Windows loaded. System in danger.
WindowError 002: No error. Yet...
WindowError 003: Dynamic linking error. Your mistake is now in every file.
WindowError 004: Erronious error. Nothing wrong.
WindowError 005: Multitasking attempted. System confused.
WindowError 006: Malicous error. Desqview found on drive.
WindowError 007: System price error. Inadequate money spent.
WindowError 008: Broken window. Watch for glass fragments.
WindowError 009: Horrible bug encounterd. God knows what has happened.
WindowError 00A: Promotional literature overflow. Mailbox full.
WindowError 00B: Inadequate disk space. Need 50 meg minimum.
WindowError 00C: Memory hog error. More RAM needed. More! More!
WindowError 00D: Window closed. Do not look out.
WindowError 00E: Window open, do not look in.
WindowError 00F: Unexplained error. Please tell us how it happened.
WindowError 010: Reserved for future mistakes.
WindowError 014: Nonexistent error. This cannot really be happening.
WindowError 015: Unable to exit Windows. Try the door.
WindowError 016: Door locked. Try control-alt-delete
WindowError 017: Keyboard locked. Try anything you can think of.
WindowError 018: Unrecoverable error. System destroyed.
WindowError 019: User error. It's not our fault. Is not! Is not!
WindowError 01A: Operating system overwritten. Terribly sorry.
WindowError 01B: Illegal error. Do not get this error.
WindowError 01C: Uncertainty error. Uncertainty may be inadequate.
WindowError 01D: Unable to figure out our own code. System halted.
WindowError 01E: Timing error. Please wait. And wait... And wait...
WindowError 01F: Reserved for future mistakes.
WindowError 020: Error recording error codes. Remaining errors lost.
Windows NT: From the makers of Windows 3.0!
Windows NT? New Technology? I don't think so...
Windows: A View to be Killed.
Windows: From the people who brought you EDLIN!
Windows: Just another pane in the glass.

STATEMENTS OF BILL GATES

"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
"If you can't make it good, make it LOOK good."
"I believe OS/2 is destined to be the most important operating
 system, and possibly program, of all time."
"OS/2 is destined to be a very important piece of software. During the
 next 10 years, millions of programmers and users will utilize this
 system."
"In fact, I don't think 7-11s even take coupons. I should check
 that out..."

GENERAL EXPRESSIONS

2.0 is better than 1.
DOS=HIGH? I knew it was on something...
What?! DOSSHELL isn't supposed to be a joke?!
When DOS grows up, it wants to be OS/2.
