

Top Ten Signs You Bought A Bad Computer

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10) Lower corner of screen has the words "Etch-a-sketch" on it.

 9) It's celebrity spokesman is that "Hey Vern!" guy.

 8) In order to start it you need some jumper cables and a friend's car.

 7) It's slogan is "Pentium: redefining mathematics".

 6) The "quick reference" manual is 120 pages long.

 5) Whenever you turn it on, all the dogs in your neighborhood start howling.

 4) The screen often displays the message, "Ain't it break time yet?"

 3) The manual contains only one sentence: "Good Luck!"

 2) The only chip inside is a Dorito.

 1) You've decided that your computer is an excellent addition to

    your fabulous paperweight collection.







Top 10 Signs the Company You Work for Is Going Under - February 28, 1992



10. They start paying everyone in sea shells.

 9. The Dairy Queen on the corner is threatening a hostile takeover.

 8. When you say, "See you tomorrow," the watchman laughs uncontrollably.

 7. The chairman walks by your desk and says, "Hey, Hey! Easy on the staples!"

 6. The initials of your company are "G.M."

 5. Conference room has been turned into chinchilla farm.

 3. Conversations at the water cooler are mainly with yourself.

 2. Your boss casually asks you if you know anything about starting fires.

 1. You get a lot of memos in Japanese.

