     PROGRAMMING TAKES A SPECIAL KIND OF PERSON.  A LOGICAL MIND AND
                    A PECULIAR PERSONALITY ARE KEY.

To see if you're cut out for the programming job, take the Dvorak Programming
Quiz.  First off, let's bypass stuff like whether you like computers and
the flexible hours and go into the real meaty questions.


QUESTION 1: Which of the following beverages do you prefer?
                 A) Wine
                 B) Jack Daniels
                 C) Beer
                 D) Jolt Cola

QUESTION 2: How would you prefer to spend a leisurely Sunday afternoon?
                 A) Watching football
                 B) Going to the zoo
                 C) Playing Trivial Pursuit
                 D) Testing batteries

QUESTION 3: What is your favorite scent?
                 A) Yves St. Laurent Opium
                 B) Oscar de la Renta
                 C) Old SPice
                 D) Pizza

QUESTION 4: What do you like to wear as casual attire?
                 A) Sports coat, open shirt
                 B) Slacks
                 C) Jeans, sweater
                 D) Anything with a T-shirt

QUESTION 5:  What is your favorite food?
                 A) Tournedos Henri IV
                 B) Coq au vin
                 C) Hamburger
                 D) Coffee

QUESTION 6:  What is your favorite noncomputer magazine?
                 A) New York Review of Books
                 B) Time
                 C) Playboy
                 D) Batman

QUESTION 7: What is your favorite scene in a movie or TV show?
                 A) Hamlet's solioquy
                 B) James Cagney's "I'm on top of the world, ma!" scene in
                       White Heat?
                 C) Scene at the end of Dirty Harry when Clint Eastwood says,
                       "You've got to ask yourself 'Do I feel lucky?'
                       Well...do you, pumk?"
                 D) Spock's mind meld with a rock creature called the Horta,
                       "The pain, the pain!"

QUESTION 8: Who's your favorite actor?
                 A) John Gielgud
                 B) Rod Steiger
                 C) Bruce Willis
                 D) Barney Rubble

QUESTION 9: Who is your favorite actress?
                 A) Ingrid Bergman
                 B) Meryl Streep
                 C) Joan Collins
                 D) Barbi Benton

QUESTION 10: What is you all-time favorite movie?
                 A) Ben-Hur
                 B) A Passage to India
                 C) Star Wars
                 D) Fritz the Cat

QUESTION 11: How do you think others perceive you?
                 A) As a person of taste and intelligence
                 B) As an urban professional
                 C) As a potential sex symbol if it weren't for your physique
                 D) As God's gift to the 20th century, and rightly so.


Score 10 oints for each answer D, 5 points for each C, and no points for any
A or B.  If you chose A for each question, the you're hopelss if you want to
be a programmer.  You have some potential as a COBOL programmer if you got
20 - 60 points.  A score of 60 - 100 means you are headed in the right
direction and should seek work at Microsoft to help you get your act together.
100 points or more says your have star quality.  The sky is the limit.
GOOD LUCK!